I realized... I have a heart condition.
Not in the way you might think. Although I have heard about Jesus my whole life and put my trust in Him as a child... and although I have reaffirmed my commitment to Christ many times as I have been confronted with His kindness that has lead me to repentance... I find today that I still have a heart condition.
My heart is utterly wicked.
Now, I trust in the promise that, "In Christ, [I am] a new creation..." (2 Cor. 5:17) and that in Christ, I have been set free from sin and become a slave to righteousness (Rom. 6:18) I find that I still fight against my flesh to subdue it and make it obedient to Christ.
That is hard.
I have had to stare eye-to-eye with my own selfish heart and pride of late and it just breaks me. But, it has taken that honest look at myself which has made Psalm 63 TRUE from my lips in a way that was just a surface statement only a few days ago.
"O God, You are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for You; my flesh faints for You, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water."
Because I see the corruption of sinful flesh in my own heart and the wide path of destruction that sin leaves in its path I am called afresh to surrender my heart to Christ that HE might continue the process of SANCTIFICATION in my life.
Hebrews 10:14 really lays it out clear:
"For by a single offering he [Jesus] has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified."
The Work on the Cross applied to me brings about my Salvation, making me a new creation and liberating me from the bonds of sin of which I cannot myself escape... and for that I rejoice!
And then, as a product of Salvation comes the process of sanctification. Now I know that I cannot reach perfection in this life (1 John 1:8) however I hold fast to the promise that God, in Christ, by the Power of the Holy Spirit in my life, is at work to conform me to the image of Christ.
So... my wicked heart is dead AND dying at the same time; and the New Creation is IN place and perfected in God AND being conformed to Christ during this life.
And I have hope.